Belonging
Have you ever sat and pondered the meaning of the word belonging?
The world wide web defines it as “an affinity for a place or situation.” But let’s break it down further: belonging is the feeling of security and support that comes from acceptance, inclusion, and identity within a group. It’s when you can bring your authentic self—fully and freely—to the table.
So, what does belonging mean to me?
Let me share my story with you…
A Journey Through Loss and Longing
As I sit and type this, my heart returns to a date that grows heavier with time: November 18th. On that day in 1995—thirty years ago—I lost my mother to bone cancer.
I was eighteen when she first became ill, and I spent two years as both her caretaker and her daughter. Ours was a blended family, and I had older siblings and one younger. The sibling closest to me is my brother—we’re just twenty-seven months apart. We had the usual brother-sister rivalry, but also a strong bond.
For 26 years, I was the youngest. My siblings were 9 to 16 years older, and I often felt unheard—too young for adult conversations. I was close to my dad. I’d go to him for prayers, to talk about the Lord, or simply to receive a (((big hug))).
When my mother passed, it was devastating. I felt a deep, aching emptiness—a space that needed a mom. I was blessed to become friends with some of her dear friends who took me under their wings. Their warmth was a gift, but it couldn’t fill her shoes.
At 27, my husband and I were expecting our first child. Six months before my son was born, my dad passed away. My go-to person was gone. I was again on a heartbreaking, lonely journey. After our son’s birth, I fell into what they call postpartum depression. I called it lost and heartbroken. I felt like an orphan—raising a child without the two people who should have been there.
Unexpected Blessings
My in-laws are wonderful people whom I adore. They instantly stepped into the role of four grandparents. They never missed a moment—vacations, birthdays, holidays, first steps, first words, even the first lost tooth. They were there.
Other beautiful souls showed up for me during that time, and I’m blessed to have formed deep bonds. Yet, something was still missing.
Over time, I met men and women who had known my parents who took me under their wings. A family bond was formed. It’s funny how, when others go through tough times or have a space to fill, God places you exactly where you need to be—not just for yourself, but for others too.
Finding My True Identity
From being the youngest and unsure of where I fit, to growing older and still longing for purpose—God showed Himself. I began walking with the Lord and discovered that my identity isn’t “orphan.”
It’s child of God.
No matter the struggles—dark moments, loneliness, or lack of support—God is always there. He loves us, supports us, shows us our purpose, directs us, and cares for us.
He calls me daughter.
Losing both parents, no matter when it happens, leaves you feeling displaced. It’s easy to identify as an orphan. Friendships may fade and some may serve a purpose for a season, and others continue to grow. I needed to find my faith and build a solid friendship with the Lord. I needed to find my identity. My belonging.
Grief and Growth
Grief isn’t just about losing loved ones. It can be a cry for acceptance, a longing for purpose. And in time, it plants you in the perfect place of belonging.
“I will be a father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”
— 2 Corinthians 6:18
“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are.”
— 1 John 3:1
These verses make me smile. My parents may not be here, but God—my Father—is.
He placed me as a sister, wife, mother, and a friend. His plans are perfect.
To me, that is belonging.
I’ve been planted right where I am.
I’m stronger in my relationship with myself, with the Lord, and I’m blessed to have walked through a journey of grief and growth.
A Prayer for You
If you don’t know where you fit in…
If you’re longing for purpose…
Start walking with the Lord, and you will find your identity.
In our darkest, loneliest moments—when we feel unsupported—God is always there.
He loves us.
He supports us.
He shows us purpose.
He directs us.
He cares for us.
And He calls us His children.
With Love,
Jen